My Dream Team

Senator Specter: Didn’t it cross your mind … that your evidentiary position would be much stronger if you had made some notes?

Anita Hill: No it did not.

Senator Specter: Well, why not?

Anita Hill: I don’t know why it didn’t cross my mind.

Senator Specter: Well, the law of evidence is that notes are very important. You are nodding yes. Present recollection refreshed, right?

Anita Hill: Yes, indeed.

Senator Specter: Prior recollection recorded, right?

Anita Hill: Yes.

—The Clarence Thomas-
Anita Hill Hearings,
October 11, 1991

Inaudible. Tinny laugh. “Don’t get mad, now. Maybe I’m being too childlike or idealistic but the last thing I am is manipulative. All I want to do is clear the air.”

I hereby affirm that the person whose words I just wrote down while pretending to work and ignore him, and whose actions I intend to note insofar as I can see while feigning inattention and writing fast enough to keep up with his lohgh lhoggohr shit what a stupid word to pick under this kind of pressure his blabbering—I do solemnly swear and state that this person is one and the same Mr. Barry Sloat, co-worker and subject of Contemporaneous Notes Parts 1-85; and further I avow that this, Part 86, commences on October 6, 1995, 3:45 PM, when Mr. Sloat made known his presence in my office doorway, whereupon I once again made Standard Warning Statement (as per Manual, p. 5) in conformance with EEOC Anti-Entrapment Guidelines (Attachment to Part 1) and then wrote down what he said, contemporaneously with his saying it. By the way (chance here to squeeze this in while Mr. Sloat pausing for dramatic effect enjoyed by him alone), I also attest that I am not type of woman who normally uses “shit” as expletive, but crossing it out now might look as if I have something to hide.

Mr. Sloat resumed talking few seconds ago but only telling au pair anecdote again (#4: see Appendix A, Full Versions of Au Pair Anecdotes He Tells). Heeeeere’s punch line! and braying self-infatuated

Please excuse preceding intemperate digression, Your Honor or Whoever will read this. Now I missed stuff, blah blah up to “so everything I said before is a classic con, and you’re smart enough to see right through it, sit there working oh so brilliantly with your brilliant uncompromising brilliance, which don’t get me wrong is exactly why I respect you and not these other pathetic cheese bitches—“ Not sure that can be what he actually said. Now lost more stuff, sorry, up to “outsmart yourself. Nobody’s for real, right? The whole world is a fraud? And this makes you what? The perfect pigeon for another guy coming along with an emotion-based pitch you’re too lonely to resist? Do you ever relax? Now let me ask you a question. Your favorite color is burgundy.”

Mr. Sloat staring expectantly. I glance at my watch (3:53 PM),…

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